Straight to the topic. (PART 1)

Navigating the Storm: My Story of Loss and Hope.

Hey everybody, this is Ashwin. Life can be a complete rollercoaster, throwing sunshine your way at one moment and feeling like a never-ending storm the next. Today, I want to share a little titbit about growing up with a load on my shoulders, but most importantly, a tale of hope.

Growing Up Different

Things just felt a bit off from the very beginning. My parents would always be around, but it seemed as though they existed on a whole other planet. They loved each other, but they were also preoccupied with grown-up issues, and the space that left wasn't really enough for a kid with a whirling mind. Yeah, I have ADHD. 'It's as if there were a million hamsters running on some wheel in my head all the time. Sometimes it's fun—full of energy and creativity—but other times, I can't focus and sit still for the life of me.'.
School wasn't exactly a walk in the park either. Kids can be mean, and mine were no exception. They didn't understand why I acted differently, why I couldn't sit still or focus the same way they did. I felt alone, like an island in a sea of faces that didn't quite get me.
Life didn't treat me so kind from the beginning. Literally, my second mother, Grandma, passed away when I was in 5th grade. She was the one who really understood me, loved me a lot, and patiently listened. Her loss created a huge hole in my heart, and emptiness seemed to follow me everywhere.
A month later and I was hit by another loss in my life—my cousin, whom I felt very close to, committed suicide.

A Glimpse of Sunshine

High school wasn't so bad.  Temporarily. I had met someone, someone who saw me, someone I could connect to. We fell in love, and for a while, it felt like the sun was finally shining on me. But sometimes, even sunshine casts shadows. Turns out, she had her own battles to fight, and eventually our paths diverged. After that, heartbreak followed—it was a fresh, painful wound stacked on top of all the old ones.

Depression: A Heavy Blanket on Top

Somewhere along the line, it all began to weigh heavily on me—this loss, this feeling of being alone. Depression blankets heavily, closing in, making it difficult to rise out of bed and see the point in anything at all. There were times when I just wanted to give up, let the darkness win. But even in the darkest night, there's always a sliver of light, a tiny flicker of hope.

Finding My Way

Maybe it's the decision to finally reach out for help, to talk to someone about what I'm going through. Maybe it's the realization that I'm not alone, that there are people who care.  Whatever it is, there's a change happening.  It's a slow process, but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

This Isn't the End

This is not my end. I only think it as a new chapter in my life, where I will begin fighting for myself, for liberation from the chains of the past. This is a story of healing, on a journey with the ability to connect with others and maybe, just maybe, rewrite the narrative.

Hope is Here

This is a story of hope, whereby the human spirit can stand strong in the face of even the most trying of circumstances. It's a story that life throws you all sorts of curve balls, but it's a must to hit back. It's a story for whoever has ever been there, lost, or feels like they are drowning in darkness.  There is hope.  You are not alone.  And even the strongest storms eventually pass.

It's a journey I'm on, this road that I travel, long, long way. There are good days and bad days, moments of doubt and moments of triumph. But I am no longer facing the storm alone—I reach out, find support, and learn to love myself, ADHD and all.

If you are reading this, perhaps resonating with any part of my story, let it be known that you are strong, worthy of love and happiness. Do not hesitate for a second to reach out. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you surely will find your way there.