Brotherhood

Have you ever had the feeling, even when everything in your life seems to be running right on track, that something is missing? I know that I have. It's a gnawing sense, one that tells you something isn't quite right—a sense of emptiness, indefinable somehow.

But looking back, 

I feel like what I was lacking was brotherhood. Humans are hardwired for connection, thriving best in communities and packs where we can support and challenge each other to be our best selves.

Because it is an age of individualism, it's far too easy to get swept up in the 'lone wolf' way of thinking. We're made to believe that we must do all things alone, that asking for help is a sign of weakness. But nothing can be further from the truth. Actually, some of the highest achievers in the world have credited the support and encouragement of friends and colleagues for their success—in the field of sports or leadership.

So how can you find your own sense of brotherhood?

It does this by looking for similar people who are of a comparable value system and have similar interests. This could mean your friends, sporting team, hobby club, or even some type of volunteer group. The thing is to find a group of lads that spur you on to be a better version of yourself and whom you can support in turn. It's building something together—something bigger than any one of you.

Keep in mind, brotherhood is a two-way street. Be there to help your boys in times of need, just as you would want them to be there for you. It is about forging a bond based on mutual trust and respect where everybody feels safe and supported. So if you feel this kind of emptiness or perhaps disconnection, don't allow it to ignore you. Act to build your brotherhood. This could be that missing thing in your life that you've been searching for.

Can we just talk?

Therapist: Can't agree more! Brotherhood works wonders. Having a supportive community around isn't merely about fun and hanging out, but nudging each other up to grow and improve.

Loner: Yeah, well, sometimes you just need some alone time, you know? Brotherhood's cool and all that, but so is being a lone wolf.

Therapist: This is also true. You want to strike a balance between belonging and alone-time. Each of us needs to have some time alone, recharging and thinking.

Loner: Exactly. And at times it's exhilarating, you know, just breaking free from the pack and doing your own thing. It is all about finding the right balance for you.

Therapist: Right, right. I get it now. So what it really comes down to is that everything in life—brotherhood or otherwise—requires balance.

Loner: Boom, you got it. Now let's go break some rules and have some fun!

Therapist: Whoa, buddy, let's not forget those pesky consequences we were discussing earlier. How about finding a way to have fun while we are responsible and considerate of others?

Loner: *sigh* Fine. You're no fun. But I'll play along. Let's go find something harmless.

Key Questions:

* Do you sometimes feel this void within, perhaps at those times when everything around you is ostensibly going just right?

* Do you value and seek to grow in this spirit of being connected with others throughout life, mutually supportive of one another?

* Have you ever known the power of brotherhood, perhaps through sports teams, volunteer organizations, or close friendships?